This Morning

This morning was not easy for me. This morning was actually rather difficult for me. This morning I was irrational.  To top it all off this morning I told my loving and patient husband to, "Just go to work!"

I immediately regretted my words but to be quite honest I was in no hurry to correct my wrongs with an apology. I decided to give myself a little time to think, breathe, be emotional but in the end I wasn't even really sure what I was feeling or why I was feeling it.

In retrospect, it was most likely a combination of little life frustrations and they had all come to a rapid boil this morning. I really hate when that happens.

You see, today we had planned to take a McKenzie family trip to the Omaha zoo.  We were all very much looking forward to the adventure but sometimes God has other plans. If it had been just this one amendment then I could have easily changed coarse, recalculated and moved on with my day. However, this was just the last straw of many broken straws this week.  I have been burning my candle at both ends and I think God was trying to tell me slow it down.

I am slowly learning that I am really not great at admitting that I need help or that I can't handle all that I have taken on. I tell myself  to be flexible, not to stress, things happen, life happens, God is in control and not to feel like a failure when I don't get every last item on my to do list done. I know all this and usually I can rise above my human faults but this week brought me to my worst.

This week we were coming off of a busy holiday weekend, both kiddos were home with me, I had employer work to get done, a chamber meeting to organize, dinner guests on Thursday night, a house to clean, laundry to catch up on, a husband who deserved a little guy/golf time, yard work to do, whining children, oh and then Pastor Mary asked if I could please lead the church service on Sunday.

AHHHHHHHHHH

Little by little I became completely overwhelmed.

Don't get me wrong....I am extremely honored and grateful that God has granted me these responsibilities but with them comes some real struggles. At one point I even confessed that "I'm not sure I'm cut out for this full time mom gig."

So, I enabled by "out of office" e-mail notification, updated my voice message to "get back to you", packed up the two kids, pulled away from our messy house and drove to Hastings where I could turn off the distractions and enjoy my blessings.

We had a fabulous day at the museum. It was just what I needed.

Now to mend the damage I have done with my main man. Especially if I want him to continue to help me around here. I definitely need him for a few things.

Mr. Big Boy

Mason is cruising into the twos like nobody's business. He definitely has a mind of his own and can carry on a fairly descent conversation, which is a helpful tool when communicating. He always addresses the person he is speaking to, which is quite interesting.

"Ma, Masey do it myself."

"Ma, Masey hold it."

Then, we took him to get his first big boy haircut. Brenda is simply the best and did an amazing job. Since then it has seemed like a light switch went on and boom...no more baby. Definitely bittersweet for this mama.

We have been experiencing a bit of a cold snap this week but that isn't going to stop Mr. Independent from playing outside.

So serious. How can I possible say no to that face?

F is for Fail

While waiting for Nathan to fill up the Jeep with gas, Jentry and I had an entertaining conversation about the gas gauge.  Kids are too fun.

Mommy Kisses

Mother's Day weekend started great. Nice weather, cute kiddos, supper on the patio, fudge pops for dessert.  Life was good.

And then....

We decided to go for a late evening walk. The sun had gone down and we took in the last minutes of daylight in our quiet little neighborhood. I pushed Mason in the stroller while Jentry rode her bike. As we headed home, Jentry, riding much faster than I can walk, made it home first. As Mason and I came up the ally, I noticed Jentry's scooter in the middle of the road. My first thought was to scold her for leaving in the road and then it hit me that something must be wrong. As we got closer to the garage, I could hear Jentry crying and Nathan telling Jentry to look at him and breathe. My first look at her bloody face sent shivers down me. Mason immediately responded, "Uh oh, Sissy. Sissy owie!" 

Nathan carried her in the house and I attempted to wash her up. She had scrapes on her knees, wrists, knuckles, forehead, nose, mouth and check. The scrapes were filled with dirt, grass and gravel. I knew we needed to get the scrapes cleaned really good right away, however I just didn't have it in me. Jentry continued to cry and was very scared. I lied to her and told her I had to go downstairs to get some more things. Frankly, I was getting super hot and dizzy and need to sit down for a minute. I scrubbed as much as we could both stand it, gave her some Tylenol, smeared her with Neosporin and sent her to bed. 

The next morning I made her soak in the tub and tried to clean the wounds some more. Mason wanted to have an owie too, so Jentry gave him a band-aid as well. Oh and for whatever reason he was refusing to wear pants, and I was like, "Whatever... its Saturday kid, you do what you want."

Planting season is in full swing, so Nathan had to work all day. We decided to take lunch to everyone at the farm. The kids loved to play at Papa and Onnie's. We also got to help treat some beans.

Jentry seemed to being doing fine and acted as normal as she ever is, but by late afternoon she start to drag a bit. By Saturday night, she didn't look to hot.

I put her to bed but couldn't sleep. I was worried about her. I prayed that she would heal quickly without any scaring but began to second guess my decision to not take her to the doctor. Around 1:00 a.m. I heard her music come on and went to check on her. She was such a trooper. She said she was fine she just wasn't sleepy. She said it felt like her check was sliding off her face. Oh my sweet baby. I just laid next to her and we both shared a moment quietly looking at each other until we both fell asleep. 

Sunday morning, we decided to stay home from church. Jentry didn't want to go anywhere, Nathan had to go back to work and I wasn't up for wrangling Mason by myself.  We sat on the front porch in our pajamas until lunch. It was fabulous! Nathan had made reservations at the Legion and after a yummy lunch, I took Jentry to Urgent Care in Hastings.

After a long wait, the doctor recommended warm water, mild soap and Vaseline daily. Praise the Lord it was nothing more. By the time we got home, I was ready to put my Mother's Day gift from my mother-in-law to use. I wonder how she new I would need it that day?

Nathan was able to come home in time for supper and my dad was even able to join us on his way through town. I so wish that I could have protected my baby girl from getting hurt, but I truly enjoyed the extra time snuggling with her this weekend. After all, life will continue to bring hurts to my children but I am so grateful that I was chosen to be the mom to kiss away their owies.

Definitely felt the love this Mother's Day.

Spring Shananigans

Mason loves to take his mom cruisin' in the Jeep.

He also learned about the Masters this spring. This obsession is courtesy of Daddy and Papa and Onnie McKenzie. I would rather watch paint dry.  

Ice cream cones on the porch are already a huge hit.  I have a feeling there will be many more of these to come.

Dancing in the precious, much needed, rain.

Oh and because Mason has a big sister, it was only a matter of time before this happened.

 Dress or no dress. He is still cute as a button. Dad says NO.

This Girl

This girl challenges me on a daily basis, oh but to think of who I would be without her?

Unimaginable.

"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about."

Sweet Spring Strawberries

"Mom, can we dip strawberries in chocolate?"

"Ummm, sure why not."

It's the little things I tell ya.